In the last couple of weeks I've generally been playing tennis well,* especially doubles. Often doubles bring out the worst in me. I start fearing I'm going to fuck up and let my partner down and then, lo and behold, that goes and happens. Funny how that works. But when I have positive internal momentum, that also snowballs.
The fact that it means nothing to anyone else in the world whether I do well or not is kind of the point. I'm not out there exactly first and foremost to impress the world. Rather, it's to improve my self control, especially my emotional regulation. And to run around in fresh air chasing a ball like a dog and burn calories to justify the next ridiculous meal in which I indulge myself. And have some yux. And then get a good night's sleep.
In its primary self-directedness, tennis is not unlike a physical corollary to my blog.
*Adam did crush me mercilessly in one set of singles, admittedly. But since nobody knows about it it's OK.
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