Thursday, October 26, 2023

Turning my focus

As I survey the various claimants to my attention, beyond the non-negotiables (reading, exercise, seeing people, sleeping, watching at least a little TV to let the brain shut off) there's a tension right now between language study on Duolingo and guitar playing. 

Duolingo is really easy to access and provides clear feedback in terms not just of points and rankings within these admittedly stupid, evanescent and entirely manufactured weekly leagues. It rewards consistency and effort in a clear and quantitative way and I make progress in these languages. It's also supposed to have a long-term cognitive benefit, at least according to one article I read. It is easily done while lying back on a couch -- though some exercises are better done leaning forward with two feat on the floor, the better to focus.

Playing guitar is, by contrast, much more amorphous. I have been stalled around the same chord progressions and finger-picking patterns for a long time. There are a million gurus on YouTube who claim to have a good system for people like me to make progress, but I hesitate to pull the trigger on them. In the end I do not practice consistently, play a few minutes a day, make no progress. But the payoffs to getting better seem so immense. To play and sing beautifully is breathtaking. 

The other hindrance is, obviously, the need to put myself out there and perform for others publicly and thereby expose myself to both criticism and acclaim. I guess I do it in some contexts, but performing music seems to be a particularly vulnerable act. Or, perhaps, solo acoustic performance is unique in this regard, distinct from being in a band where one can hide behind amps and bluster. To an extent.

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