Those French are so smart

They have a different word for everything.

But, seriously, who can make sense of the frogs? First they shake their jowls and decline to join us in gloriously importing a new paradigm of freedom to the liberty-thirsting Iraqis, and now get this.

A friend of mine was visiting Paris with his wife and baby, and they visit the so-called "Louvre." They check out some of the art in there, and find themselves in a room of Italian paintings with breasty Madonnas and hungry but restrained little baby Jesuses, and the child gets inspired, crying out for la lait maternelle. So the mom sits down and discreetly arranges to feed her baby in the gallery a la faison naturelle. A guard comes up and tells them that breast-feeding is not cool in the gallery, that they need to repair to a more appropriate location. A mild uproar ensues. "But look at the art in here, " they cry, but it falls on deaf ears.

So they go and talk to a manager, who straight-facedly confirms that, while there is no official policy on breast feeding, guards are empowered to take action to enforce la bien seance pour tous. Which is ridiculous. Everybody knows the French like tits. Shoot, just look at I. M. Pei's pyramid entrance to the museum, which so clearly references the bustiers made by Jean-Paul Gaultier for Madonna.

I beseech you. Don't let this bit of franco-absurdite pass by in silence. Since the morons don't post a comments email address on their website, pick up a pen and write to the Director of the Louvre at the address below to demand justice. And a frickin pain au chocolat for good measure.

Henri Loyrette Président-directeur du musée du Louvre Pavillon Mollien 75058 Paris Cedex 01.