It's all gotta count

As with spirit, so with spirits: if you got it you can count it.

The Times' intrepid reporters told us the weekends of a new practice out in the red state region: "Power Hour", the hour after kids turn 21 before bars close, during which time they try to knock back 21 shots. As if just doing 21 weren't enough of an accomplishment, some of them have ambitious "to-do lists" line-iteming out specific drinks tasks, which are crafted and overseen by their very closest friends. The need for buckets is foreseen and provisioned for. Good work, America, for bringing task-oriented project and supply chain management to drinking.

Back when I was drinking, let me tell you, we didn't need to count and plan our drinking precisely to know when we were drunk. We were simply at one with alcohol, and respected its natural ebbing and flowing. Frequently. Somewhere along the way, this intrinsic, wholistic way was lost, but now young drinkers have formal best practices to help them fill the gap. There are unconfirmed rumors that, in certain elite bars across the high plains, top corporate recruiters quietly observe power hours and scout for those who dispatch their shots with the greatest dispatch, panache, and presence of mind, searching for the next Jack Welch...

I'll let you know what I hear.