"Arghhhh!" redux

Some of the more attentive readers may recall the post "Arghhhh", in which I attributed gastro-intestinal discomfort to a chicken sausage from Whole Foods. The sausage deserves an apology.

As the days rolled on and various members of my family and friends throughout the greater Tri-State area puked and experienced abdominal pain said to exceed that of childbirth in its combined intensity and protraction, it became clear that no individual foodstuff was responsible. Mary speculated through clenched teeth that terrorists had finally poisoned the food supply.

In fact, there has been no authoritative refutation of this hypothesis. The CDC had no mention of an outbreak. Googling "Stomach Flu" (apparently a misnomer) brought only corroborative anecdotes, and few at that. HomelandSecurity.com says nothing about any food supply poisoning. Which is suspicious, when you think of it.

Not for naught, then, did your Grouser ring in the New Year covered in a thick coating of Graham's copious vomit. No no. We stood at the front-line of the centuries old struggle to preserve our enduring freedoms. And reeked.