Saturday, January 10, 2009

Dispatches from the new frontiers of finance

A series of stunning developments

  • Bear/Lehman Joint Venture for Private Wealth Management
    In response to growing aggregation in the brokerage space, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers today announced a joint venture which will combine and house the two firms' private wealth management units. A Bear Stearns spokesperson said: "Due to Lehman's well-established brand and robust network of proven producers, we see great and synergistic opportunities to realize economies of scale and leverage a best of breed solution to return value to our clients and shareholders."

  • Federal League Tables
    To encourage competition and entrepreneurship amongst government agencies, Rahm Emanuel, Chief-of-Staff-Select for the President-Elect announced the established of League Tables for M & A deals, equity transactions, and debt underwriting by federal agencies. An informal poll of 2008:

  • M & A -- The Fed, for it's role in Bear/JP Morgan and Wamu/JPMorgan. Honorable Mention to the FDIC for Wells Fargo/Wachovia and the very profitable Indy Mac flip.
  • Debt Issuance -- The Treasury, honorable mention to Fannie and Freddy
  • Equity Transactions -- The Treasury, for the TARP injections that so warmed hearts from coast to coast
  • New "F-bills" to be issued
    Tiring of watching its cousins over at the Treasury have all the auctioning fun with its "T-bills", and mindful of the outsized gains in Treasuries in 2008, the Fed will issue it's own bonds starting in 2009, to be known as "F-bills." To simultaneously maximize principle protection, total return, and yield, F-bills will be continuously inverted variable products arbitraging variances in the ratios between a synthetic non-capitalization weighted versions of the preliminary and month-end Michigan Consumer Sentiment Indices. Chairman Bernanke stated that: "We really want a product that's transparent and robust and returns value to key stakeholders."


Steed said...

Great stuff, Clark.

Katherine said...

So, in common English, we should buy lots of these f bills?

Graham Hussein de las Piernas Gordas said...

All I can do is to refer to the classic scene at Winky Dinky Dog in Hollywood Shuffle, where the old guy loses it and sits in the yard singing the virtues of hoe cakes: "Hoe cakes, hoe cakes, everybody love hoe cakes." F-bills are gonna sell like hoe cakes!

Anonymous said...

I'm still going long on the enhancement cream rocket! When are the U-bills coming? Presumably before the C-bills?