Thursday, March 09, 2023

Soul tired but looking forward

Mary comes home from New York tomorrow. By then Rob will have packed up all his stuff and gotten on the road to go spend some time with his college friend Michael in New Hampshire. It is the end of an era for the Berridges. For the first time since perhaps 1960, when Mary Lee and George Sr moved to Beverly Place from the West Village, none of them will reside in Westchester County, which is a little sad.

In the very near term, I am the winner, because I get Mary back. In a bonus, Graham's spring break starts tomorrow, although I'm not sure when we actually see him because he and the Quiz Bowl team are off to some tournament for Saturday if not Sunday too. Which is awesome. Although part of me wishes Graham's whole college social life didn't revolve around intellectual competition (which really isn't a good model for how the world works), there does seem to be a very healthy group of kids involved in the club. For example, they sent five teams to a recent competition at Virginia Tech. Which means he's got a big cohort to run and gel with.

But at some point in the weekend there will be three of us in the house, which is much better than one. Likewise, two of us in the bed, much better than one, though I've gotten used to it. It is probably too late for us to go off on another trip to Mattamuskeet this season, but I do hope Mary and I find somewhere else funnish to go together in the next few months. We should enjoy this empty nesting and the freedom it gives us.

Wednesday, March 08, 2023

Skiing in the West

And so, having now done the whole skiing out west thing, I'd have to say it was a good experience. I enjoyed myself skiing, except for the pain in my legs from the shear exertion of it all and using the quads in ways they weren't quite used to. Owing to the long lesson I took on eday one and my patient friends, who traded off baby-sitting me on the green runs, I made a lot of progress and was largely skiing parallelish by the end of day 2. I skied maybe 4.5 hours on day 1 and 3 hours on day 2, pulling the rip cord at lunch so as not to put myself at undue risk of injury.

I will likely go back and do it again though, honestly, it wasn't all that fun. I mean, sure, it was somewhat enjoyable, but not overwhelmingly so. It was more that I had a sense of accomplishment from not busting my ass, which is a somewhat low bar. Probably next time I'll have more fun because I'll be starting at a higher level.

All in, it was definitely expensive, and that's even after I borrowed all the clothes from Z. Certainly it was interesting to get an eyeball on the celebrated ski culture, but it's not like I have a shortage of opportunities to watch affluent white people doing their thing.

Tuesday, March 07, 2023

Back East

It was a grind of a trip home. On Sunday, after getting to the airport early so as to ride with my friend Dave out there and sitting around for several hours, my flight was cancelled. In fact, almost all flights were cancelled. So everyone scurried off to nearby hotels with the help of some very enterprising and competent shuttle van services. You could tell this wasn't their first rodeo.

Instead of going to Steamboat where even modest hotel rooms went for $400 and up, I and a bunch of other people hustled west to Craig, a small town with a number of hotels, including my go to the Hampton Inn. Unfortunately, the snow kept coming down and the only option was food via DoorDash, so Dave (whose flight was also cancelled) and I enjoyed a repast of KFC at 5:30 -- so early because it seemed like the snow might shut down what little food service there was. Right when I was ordering it appeared on DoorDash that McDonalds had closed, which freaked me out a little. For a moment I was thrust back in time to August 2003 and the great Northeast blackout, when I found myself in Albany in a hotel with no power and little food and was freaking out a little with residual 9/11 anxiety (everyone was).

After our KFC feast I watched Casablanca for the first time (somehow) and turned off my light by 9pm in anticipation of the 5 am shuttle back to the airport. It wasn't that hard because everything outside was dark and snowy and obscure. Good sleeping.

Yesterday I made my way home through Dallas without incident. Dinner was the last breast of KFC (I had ordered extra because we didn't know if Eric would make it out to Chicago) on an English muffin and some salad. Delish.

Saturday, March 04, 2023

Young love

Up in the mountains with my buddies from Yale. Given who we are and especially that one of them is an artist, there are many discussions of art and music and purpose and why this is better than that, and so on. Lot's of loud guitar is being played.

At the end of the evening, I had to go upstairs and cleanse my brain with some of this stuff. A pretty song with a traditional chord progression sang by a woman with a lovely voice about love, and since she's young it feels like young love.

And what after all is there that's better to sing or write about than young love? From an experiential standpoint, it's definitely a highlight of life. It is hard to capture the complex satisfaction of raising children or maintaining a relationship with a beloved spouse over time, though there are good examples. Young love is simpler, purer, and easier. What's not to like?


 

On the snow

Had my first day skiing in the Rockies today, my first day of what everyone around here would term actual skiing, and I must say that I get it. Skiing on this actual snow does indeed differ significantly from the thin layer of entirely machine-made snow back in NC. 


My goal for the trip is to make it through injury-free while enjoying the company of a fine set of college friends. So far so good on both fronts, though it took a lot of discipline to respect the lactic acid in my legs and skip the last 30 minutes of my ski lesson. It may take even more self=control tomorrow when I am out skiing with the lads. 

Back east, George was laid to rest in a green burial at Sleepy Hollow, NY. I was sad to miss it, but given that there is no embalming or the like involved it was important to get him in the ground quickly. There were friends and flowers and siblings, it looked lovely.

Thursday, March 02, 2023

The end of an era

Mary's brother George passed away yesterday. He had broken his neck diving into a pool over 43-44 years ago so had lived a long and full life in a wheelchair, immersed in books, sports -- especially Michigan football and basketball, and music. When I met him he was first and foremost a Neil Young fan, but over time he evolved into a Little Feet fanatic, in fact evolving into their primary archivist of bootleg recordings.

George was a remarkably calm and steady presence. He made peace with where he was and made the best of it. He shared an enthusiasm for military history which drew him close to Graham and formed the core of long phone conversations they would have, often on Friday afternoons. They would talk for a long time and I think it was super meaningful for both of them.

There was one particularly memorable day when Graham, George and I went to West Point with Sam, George's longtime aide (he was at our wedding in 1997) to West Point. It was a pretty special day, especially going into the museum where Graham and George traded stories. Much of the time Graham was quasi-lecturing George on this or that detail or campaign. He was still pretty little and hadn't had a lot of social skills training just yet. George dug it, in any case. 


Monday, February 27, 2023

Divine Sanction and Reason as grounds for legitimacy

(this is a stub post that has been stuck in draft mode. Experience has shown me that if I don't push it out it will languish for years. Really this is more like an idea for a book I don't have time to write).

With the Enlightenment, in principle reason succeeded divine sanction or mere possession of land and the legitimating grounds of governments in much of the world. As Linda Colley in her good but flawed book on constitutions pointed out, constitutions played a crucial role in disseminating this principle globally.

International law pushes this principle down into more granular territory, and IP protection is the area where this is perhaps best built out. China's attack on the legal grounds for IP protection threatens this principle, just as China has been eroding the practice of IP protection for some time.

Of course China and the rest of the Global South is not entirely wrong to challenge the putative principles-based world order. It was always supremely flawed. From the beginning it was eroded by the West's highly selective and limited understanding of the scope of universality, which generally starts at the extent of the speaker's perceived cohort and has always been limited by the pursuit of profit for specific groups (one vs. many, private vs. public), though the profit motive and the search for competitive advantage has on the other hand facilitated the globalization of production which has helped drag billions of people out of poverty, especially since the rise of Deng Xiaopeng, Manmohan Singh and Lee Kuan Yew.

With the erosion of divine sanction as legitimation, perceived injury has becomes new grounds (Hitler and Weimar, China and the Opium Wars, Putin and Glasnost) for legitimacy. Really this is a regression to Old Testament ways.

Retreat from international and multilateral agreements is lamentable (UN, EU, WTO, NAFTA, Putin and nuclear agreement, TPP). In general the more international agreement and cooperation on a variety of fronts, the better. We should be striving to arrive at something like Star Trek "United Federation of Planets" before an attack from another star system necessitates it.


Note to self: check out Habermas's Legitimation Crisis. 




Saturday, February 25, 2023

A Global Life

As we are all beaming our love towards Westchester and brother George, who it sounds like it transitioning into a hospice facility, I have been slogging my way through the autobiography of James Wolfensohn, former head of the World Bank. I have no idea where I got this book, but I'm sure I didn't pay retail for it. In many ways Wolfensohn was like the Forrest Gump of finance, he went everywhere and met and knew everyone, starting as a poor kid of Jewish emigres to Australia who had been close to Rothschilds for a spell back in England but then never quite made money in the new world.


I suspect that many people in power in the global centers thereof actually know just as many people as Wolfensohn does, they just don't go on and on about it in their autobiographies. In all likelihood, the book would be better if he spent less time prattling on about who he knew and more about the intricacies of what he did. Still, he seems like a nice enough guy, except when he's continually repeating mea culpas about how his business activities kept him away from his kids and his wife. Like when he was about to start leading the Kennedy Center but his wife found out she needed chemo for breast cancer. You can guess what he did. Somehow his marriage survived and his kids don't end up hating him, at least as he tells it.

I'm still hoping to learn a little more about development finance since that's the whole reason I read this book. I'm about 3/5ths done. We shall see.

Friday, February 24, 2023

Some progress in the Bible

My book club recently finished Linda Colley's The Gun, the Ship and the Pen, a history of the spread of constitutions. I'm glad it's done. I learned a lot, but it wasn't a great book. The most interesting part was learning about the non-Western world's interest in Japan's Meiji constitution of 1889 and a reminder of how psyched the non-West was when Japan kicked Russia's ass in 1905, because at last the white man had lost one. We forget about how strong this dynamic is. It's part of the backdrop to what we are seeing now in our strategic rivalry with China and with the Global South's failure to line up behind a condemnation of Russia in Ukraine.

It's interesting also to reflect on the relationship of Torah to Mishnah and Talmud as something like a constitution. This analogy came to me when reading the book of Nehemiah earlier this week, in which Ezra, having returned from Babylon and rebuilt Jerusalem and the Temple, stands before the people and propounds the law (Torah) while they stand and listen.

It's also very interesting that Ezra focuses for the first thing on two things: observation of the sabbath (including not conducting commerce with non-Jews) and the importance of marrying within the fold -- there had been problem of intermarriage in Babylon and the Jews did a mass divorcing and renunciation of outmarriages on the way out the door. Up until now the biggest transgression the Old Testament had focused on was worshipping at hill-shrines, especially to Baal. Presumably the population had moved past that tendency and were able to focus on more rarefied matters like sabbath observance and keeping the tribe pure. Which counts as progress, I suppose.

Thursday, February 23, 2023

Asceticism

Quite interestingly, an old friend from college whom I haven't seen probably since college looked at my LinkedIn post and his first thought was that I looked and seemed ascetic. Aside from the cheeseburger and fries I had for lunch with Whitey and the Peruvian chicken fest I shared with Niklaus and Jonathan last night, he's kinda on to something. Also my home, pretty nice by global standards if not out of control by modern American ones.

But overall I have long been pursuing a quasi-ascetic course. I quite intentionally resist the cultivation of ever more refined standards, particularly refined things that can get real expensive quickly: sushi, coffee, meat, cars, hotels etc. Overall I've found that greater satisfaction and happiness comes from not worrying about how you're going to be able to pay for stuff. The absence of stress. Which can be cultivated through not getting sucked into the trap of needing fancy shit in all categories. I want to pay more only for things where added expense adds value over time: athletic shoes, dental services, insurance brokerage and other professional services etc.

Certainly I don't think I've invented anything or deserve a gold star for this. It's just where I am, and it's where I hope my kids end up because it feels right. My friends tend to end up like this, too, perhaps not surprisingly. I select out extreme gourmands and fancy car enthusiasts, for obvious reasons.

Monday, February 20, 2023

What's going on

I awoke today in a funk. I am emotionally exhausted.

Looking back at my post from Saturday I find I wasn't really clear as to what was going on, though people could read within the lines. Mary got on a plane early Saturday because her brother George's medical crisis had accelerated and he is most likely nearing the end. George has had an amazing run. He broke his neck maybe 43-44 years ago and has survived this long. Not without challenges, he has found ways to enjoy life, and even found love in the form of Susan, who brought with her her daughter Allison, who has in turn brought Justin and their boys Dylan and Haydn into our lives. Pretty remarkable.

We all knew a day would come when he would tick no longer. It could be today, though he could always surprise us. But this event has accelerated pretty rapidly, and getting Mary up there and then communicating with the kids -- Natalie who is sad because she's far away and wished we had been more transparent earlier in the process, Graham who is not showing a lot of emotion publicly but who is in his own way closest to George of all of us save Mary -- it has been pretty draining.

On top of a bit of the continued soap opera of work and other little stuff.

I must say I am super glad to have a three-day weekend to process it all.


Codicil: I took Adam 7-6 today and feel much better having done so. We both played well, but I didn't fold in the tiebreaker, which is very nice. Basically I cared enough about winning to not shoot myself in the foot.

Sunday, February 19, 2023

International professional standards

At dinner last night Guy -- who's a PoliSci prof in Texas -- was telling me that he's been teaching courses in Brazil each year. Moreover, he told me that graduate education globally has increasingly been moving towards happening in English everywhere -- including France of all places.

It's kind of a weird thought and a little sad, though it does raise general interoperability amongst scholars and speeds idea exchange -- idea liquidity, as I'm sometimes inclined to call it.

It reminded me of an idea I had had at a dinner last Saturday, namely that there needs to be much more work towards standardization of professional education globally. It is tragic that we have doctors and engineers from places like Afghanistan and Nigeria who come to the US and have to drive cars. I understand perfectly well that we have more resources and technology that allow us to develop human capital at a more rarefied and granular level, but it's hard to believe that a doctor from someplace in the developing world couldn't be fast-tracked towards a Nurse Practitioner or Physician's Assistant designation if there was more work being done to globalize training and accreditation. Sure they'd need training once here, and yes that would take funding.

It seems like there are two main impediments: 

  1. the "license raj" (to quote The Economist), in which professions ringfence their ability to charge premium fees by creating barriers to entry 
  2. the general anti-globalist mindset which inveighs against global standards.
Both of these are bad in the end. We will never have perfect global accreditation of professionals. But we could move in the direction of some sort of Pareto-like mindset where we try to have all professionals in given fields learn similar basics and then recognize the fact that they have done so.

Daily rebalancing

At our most recent Yale reunion in 2018, which a bit of quick thinking tells me was my 30th, Yale's Chief Investment Officer David Swensen gave a talk. It was very well attended, as you might imagine, because for one it wasn't just the class of '88 that was reuning, but some mix of '83,'93, '98, '03, '68 etc. A lot of people in finance were there, no doubt. And since taking over the endowment in '86 Swensen had pretty much revolutionized institutional asset management. He was like the old EF Hutton commercial: when he talked, people listened.


I was sitting next to a guy from my class and residential college who -- in a hedge fund with his dad -- manages $25-$30 billion. Apparently he has become well known and there was some younger guy from another class who was trying to suck up to him pretty shamelessly. He and I have never been close and he's always been a little arch but as the years have gone on he's seemed nice enough.

So Swensen's up there in front of the class talking -- already a little frail with the cancer that would eventually kill him -- and he says that by now he has his team rebalancing (i.e. adjusting asset classes -- stocks, bonds, what have you) to their target balance (say, 60% stocks/ 40% bonds) on a daily basis. The guy sitting next to me was astounded. I was marginally less so, because I had read that daily rebalancing (as opposed to annual or quarterly rebalancing), but only if an asset class has broken its allocation band by 20% (so if bonds in the example above have gone to 48% or 32%, they should be sold or bought). So one should be monitoring portfolios daily and adjusting ones portfolio when that happens.

Of course, allocations don't break their bands on a daily basis, indeed it's hard to imagine how Swensen had crafted a rule-based framework guiding trading that could have made sense. It would have been nice to have drilled into that and understood better. In general it doesn't sound in keeping with the atmosphere of Yale's Endowment. After Swensen died, Ted Seides (who was a few years behind me and had worked at the Endowment) interviewed Charlie Ellis, who was on its Board. Ellis said that the remarkable thing about the Endowment is that when you went in it was like being in a monastery: everyone was sitting and reading quietly. There was no hubbub. Daily trading evokes the image of a loud and boisterous trading floor, a time-honored Wall Street tradition which is as it is for good reason: it allows for the rapid interchange of ideas between groups of people focused on different corners of the markets.

In general, it seems pretty clear that any practice of making changes to anything on a daily basis is likely to be counterproductive because the act of changing presumes that one's knowledge of the world and situation has somehow improved dramatically since the day before. That rarely happens. Most fruitful efforts are very long-range in nature and focus and wisdom comes slowly. If we think we've learned something dramatic over a given short period of time, most often we're best off trying to figure out how we are deluding ourselves.

Saturday, February 18, 2023

Quite a day

The phone rang at 7 for Mary. It was Susan letting us know that George had had a bad night and wanted Mary and Susan to get up to New York to see him. I booked Mary a 9:35 flight for LaGuardia and got her to RDU in time, but we had to hustle.

Then I attended the memorial service for Gene Sandler, my neighbor down the hill. Great old guy, as was attested at considerable length by his colleagues in UNC's dental school.

Then, of course, there was tennis with Adam, which he carried 7-5, 7-6. All within the context of a gorgeous sunny day.

Digging a bunch of videos from this Nashville series. 



Friday, February 17, 2023

Chatbots and thinking attrition

It has long been a commonplace that we've gotten progressively less good at learning our way around places since we've had Google Maps. Why allocate brain resources to it if Google can handle it for us so well?  What if something similar happens to thinking as ChatGPT and the like get more deeply integrated into the way we seek answers to complex problems?

On the one hand, one of the benefits of Google Maps is that -- freed from the necessity of paying attention to route planning, my mind at least is able to focus more on the book or podcast I'm listening to. Under ideal conditions this means that I'm learning other, potentially more meaningful things. It's conceivable that something similar happens with chatbots. We'll see.

Thursday, February 16, 2023

Less is more

In recent weeks I've sat through a couple of presentations -- a friend from Princeton's near 2-hour Zoom on AI and what it means, which included the kitchen sink to be sure, and a presentation from the NC AG's office on frauds targeting elders. Each of them was presented by a lovely and dedicated person and contained reams of usual information, but at the end of each I was completely sapped and really hadn't gained much.

I was reminded of the McKinsey rule that no slide should ever have more than five bullets on it. If you are tempted to have more than that, it means you haven't thought about what you're trying to say. Similarly, there's that old folk saying "I would have written you a shorter letter, but I didn't have the time."

Probably a similar critique could be leveled at this blog. Rather than continuing to crank out content on an undifferentiated basis, my ideas -- if they exist -- could likely find greater purchase if I distilled them into a book and marketed them effectively. Such is life. For now I don't have time to do that. Maybe later. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Mr Social

Our car Leon has always been rather reclusive, so much so that Graham's friend Ronen was on record doubting his actual existence. He spend most of his time in the back of the house, initially camping out in the room of Natalie, the first human he let pet him consistently through the day. Once Natalie left, he spent a lot of time with Graham and would increasingly let me come in and pet him if I was very careful to walk softly and not move in a jerky or abrupt way that he might perceive as a threat. Indeed his general aversion to people walking with heavy steps led Mary to speculate that when he was a very small kitten, before he made it to the Goat House Refuge, where we got him, he might have lived under a porch. Honestly I think that is Mary over-extrapolating from a course on southern literature she read back in college, when she was momentarily entranced by Eudora Welty and Flannery O'Connor and the like.

As time went on Leon appeared more and more often just before bedtime and basically threw himself at Mary as she sat in her chair, forcing her to pet him. So clearly he needed attention.

Now that we are empty nesters, he has reached the conclusion that if I am going to be one of the only two humans around the house consistently, I will have to do as a source of affection and petting. In recent months, he has even taken to coming and sitting next to me on the couch in the living room or on occasion, the couch in the rec room. Today for maybe the first time ever he came and sat next to me on the couch in the morning, while I was reading the Bible. Perhaps it is my seeming embrace of the Word of God which has opened his little feline heart. In any case, it's all good. He is exceptionally soft.

Sunday, February 12, 2023

Update from the slopes

Yesterday was a very long day. Headed out at a little after 7 for Appalachian Ski Mountain, near Boone, to refamiliarize my legs with what it was like to be on skis in advance of my trip to Steamboat Springs in a couple of weeks with Yale friends. About three hours out, then "four hours" of skiing -- including a lesson as well as a hearty lunch and lots of standing in line -- then three hours back. Then we went to a dinner party.

As I was getting my rented boots there at the lodge the guy says to me "it's just like riding a bike" after I had mentioned that I hadn't skied in 30 years plus. As the lesson got started, once we finally got on our skis, my initial impression is that the guy was right. I could still snowplow and turn just fine on the really gentle slopes there are the bottom and the baby hill for absolute beginners.

However, I should have extended his metaphor a little further. It was just like a riding a bike -- for someone who had only ever ridden a bike twice before, and many moons ago under an entirely different bodily regime. So when I went up on the bigger green hill with a feeling of "I got this." I came down, gathered some speed, feeling good, but then I started snowplowing to slow myself down and could totally feel in my knees and hips, especially the hips. The old body didn't have the muscle power to slow myself down properly. So I did the only rational thing and flung myself on the snow, which did slow me down.

A guy at the dinner party back in Chapel Hill said that part of the problem was the shitty quality of the snow and that things would be better out in Colorado. I'm sure that's it. 

Friday, February 10, 2023

Queasy Tidings of Spring

Looking at the weather for the next 10 days, it's impossible not to think here in NC of the onset of Spring, even though we're really only halfway through the season technically. We know it's coming early here in the South, that's normal. Spring is lovely, I should be excited about it being easier to live more of our lives outside, etc.

But I'm not. I am filled with a little bit of dread instead. Partially this feeling surely comes from global warming and the anxieties it drives, particularly as we can see that mankind is not doing a good enough job changing our behavior to slow its path.

But it's also just about aging, I'm pretty sure. The early onset of Spring serves to confirm the general acceleration of time that comes with aging. The globe seems to rush ever more heedlessly around the sun, without the slightest thought of how I feel about it, which is just so very inconsiderate. 

Wednesday, February 08, 2023

Raw truth

I hadn't really been keeping up with the story of the earthquake in Turkey and Syria even as the death toll has mounted up over recent days. Then I looked closely this morning at the picture on the front page of the Journal. It showed a guy sitting in a folding chair holding the hand of his daughter. The rest of her was buried beneath the rubble of their home and she wasn't breathing or waiting for help to arrive. I started reading the article. In the first couple of paragraphs was an exchange that read like a parable. "I buried my children yesterday." "Oh, you were able to find yours?" It was too much. I had to stop reading to refocus and get ready for the day.

As the story of this calamity is written, who knows whether we'll learn something like we did in 2008 when the collapse of a school in Sichuan killing thousands was attributed to lax construction practices as contractors took shortcuts to cut costs and grease the palms of officials. Or even with the Florida condo collapse a couple of years ago, where we can see that cost aversion by a Board of tenants was a major contributor to the collapse. Maybe this earthquake was just too big and would have killed a bunch of people no matter how well the buildings were constructed.

But I'm almost certain that better governance could have saved lives here somehow. Some of these people are the victims of Erdogan, Assad and the place their respective countries occupy in the latest Great Game of diplomacy. Hard-working and earnest technocrats operating in concert via international organizations coordinating with local polities are mankind's best hope for managing down tragic deaths and improving the human condition in aggregate.

Tuesday, February 07, 2023

The Plot

To be frank, I wasn't all that well-disposed towards enjoying Jean Hanff Korelitz's The Plot, although the book's premise (author steals a surefire and novel plot from another author and is then hounded by an anonymous troll about his theft) sounded fun and it was reputed to be clever. Fact is, Korelitz was generally pretty rude and dismissive towards our family when we lived in Princeton back in the oughts and had good friends in common. Probably I didn't strike her as cultured enough, given that I was hustling and trying to figure out how to earn a living and my literary chops were very much decaying at an almost palpable pace. Her husband Paul was always pleasant enough.


But then I picked up a used copy of it at the new branch of Golden Fig Books at Carr Mill, an excellent addition to the local crop of bookeries. And I read it. Really quickly. The buzz is correct, it is fun and engrossing, though by the end it proceeds rather tautologically if still in a fresh groove. Nonetheless, I had some good laughs even in the very last pages.

Read it. Let me know if you'd like to borrow my copy.

Sunday, February 05, 2023

The Queen City

Rolled down here this afternoon for a professional conference, the first in many years, at least where it's a professional conference for me. I've been to professional conferences for economic development people, agtech people, tissue reconstruction people, etc, looking for business in the years leading up to COVID. Never quite got much business, but learned an awful lot.

In any case, here I am in Charlotte. Looking around for a place to eat I discovered there is an Early Girl Eatery here. The family and I had eaten at the original one in Asheville many years ago and had a lovely meal. Turns out it was founded by the brother of Butch from Crooks back in the day and painted by Marvin. But of course it was.

I hustled down there because it was slated to close at 8. I got there at 7:10 and the place was oddly almost empty. "We're out of almost everything, we've been totally slammed" said one of the guys working there. I was tired and didn't really feel like looking around, and from Google Maps it didn't look like there was a lot around there (it was either wrong or I wasn't looking carefully). "Well, what do you have?" The guy disappeared into the kitchen and came out saying "we're out of everything on the lunch/dinner menu, but we do have some breakfast stuff." I didn't really feel like looking around, so I ended up with a pork, potatoes and eggs bowl.

It ended up being quite good and the biscuits with honey butter he brought out were quite delicious. The contrast between it and the place Mary and I ate last Friday at Mattamuskeet couldn't have been starker. Last week the room was entirely white and the place was incredibly noisy, and they never bussed the other end of our table. Here it was empty (at least when I got there), everybody was black and the service was impeccable. The guy went out of the way to take care of me, despite being at the end of a long shift, and was incredibly friendly. I was kind of thinking of maybe getting a seltzer to go but decided not to ask because he had run back and forth to the kitchen several times on my behalf. Then he just offered me a seltzer to go. I tipped the hell out of him. 

Saturday, February 04, 2023

Institutional self-preservation

I was just at my Al Anon meeting, one which I've been going to for probably a decade now. I shared about how I've been reading a lot of non 12-Step program stuff as part of my program and mentioned that the program readings had gotten a little stale for me over time. AA meetings are generally well geared towards this kind of thing, Al Anon is a little more fragile, perhaps because it operates at a smaller scale. Other members gently stepped up to talk about how alive the program is in their lives.

All institutions seek to preserve themselves. This can be problematic. It's broadly recognized, for example, that US healthcare spending is a little excessive at 18% of GDP, far above the OECD average of 9.5%. Since COVID mortality was far highest amongst those with chronic diseases (diabetes, heart disease, etc) and treatment of those with chronic diseases makes up a disproportionate of US healthcare spend, you'd think that COVID should over time bring down US healthcare costs. But that's not what we're seeing. Fundamentally that's because healthcare institutions seek to preserve themselves. They are big enterprises and they want to retain payroll and grow earnings.

Pretty much all industries are the same. Finance should be the same way. If we believe it is not essential but exists to facilitate other activities, it should seek to shrink. But all the individual businesses within it seek to grow. Even Vanguard, which has been amongst all institutions perhaps the purest of heart. Ironically, in some sense Vanguard's laser focus on lower costs have caused it to not focus on developing a broader range of services and improve its platforms, so that it actually has constrained its ability to serve people better, forcing them to go to other vendors to get things they need, thereby increasing the footprint of finance on their lives.

Life is complex. On with the day.

Friday, February 03, 2023

Grinding on

Against my better judgment, I just signed up to go to a conference in Charlotte on Sunday afternoon. Part of it happens Sunday evening, mostly it happens Monday. It has been a long time since I went to a professional conference. Good ones are good for me, they offer a bolus of knowledge and an opportunity to talk with peers. This one has the virtue of being in Charlotte so I don't have to get on a plane.

Of course, it does rob me of some of my precious weekend, and I'll have to drive back Monday evening mostly in the dark. Such is life.

Today I'll try to work a little less. Thus far I'm getting off to a decent start.

Thursday, February 02, 2023

The President as employee

The Journal yesterday ran a story saying the Biden had submitted to a search of his Delaware beach house by the Department of Justice in search of classified documents. Good. He definitely fucked up in handling them more than once, this is a reasonable thing to do and definitely drives home the point the Presidents are in some regards employees like any other. They work for us.

Yes they are special too because the Presidency is a unique job and it takes a unique set of characteristics to earn the right to the seat and then to occupy it. Therefore listening to ex-Presidents speak is pretty incredible. I heard Bill Clinton talk at a conference in 2010 or so and his blend of intelligence and perspective were remarkable.

But while they are in office they are employees and subject to controls. We should remember that. Presidents should remember that and be less aggressive with Executive Orders. Legislators should remember that and figure out how to compromise and get things done. The electorate should remember that legislators need to compromise and therefore not demand perfect ideological conformity from them.

Monday, January 30, 2023

Driving at night

Amongst the many signs that I might, just possibly, be aging is how exhausting I find it to drive a lot at night, especially in rural places. Time was thought nothing of driving from DC home after the sun went down. Last night I found myself looking over at my phone and Google maps up affixed up there on the air vents to the right of me to find out how much time had passed since I had last checked. Sometimes as little as two or even one minute had gone by. Not good.

By now I find that night driving saps me pretty good, though it got easier when we got back to the Raleigh beltway and there were more cars on the road to keep my eyes focused on what's going on.

Especially when they have their lights on. Yesterday evening we saw not one but two separate cars out in pitch dark -- around 7:30 -- with no lights on. On the frickin insterstate. I flicked mine on and off. One of the drivers got it, the other continued on blissfully, tra la la, presumably towards an untimely death.

Mary and I have been listening to Amy Schumer's autobiographcal The Girl with the Lower Back Tatoo for our entertainment. Not in the same league as Trevor Noah's memoir, but not bad. Some insight, some laughs, some justified righteousness, she lays it all out there and fundamentally she seems like a good egg. At least to hear her tell it.

Sunday, January 29, 2023

Hunt and culture

Lake Mattamuskeet is, apparently, a natural lake, which is a pretty rare thing east of the Mississippi. Much of the landscape around it appears, however, to be heavily sculpted by humans. There are, for example, lots of levees and places jutting out into the lake in straight lines, for various reasons.


Indeed, much of Hyde Country seems intensively terraformed, as it would have to be, because you can see they have been negotiating their coexistence with the sea here. Here in Swan Quarter, the county seat, those houses and structures whose inhabitants could afford to raise them up four or five feet have done so. The B and b we're staying in is one of those. The county office building, the snazziest structure around here (rivaled only by the volunteer firehouse) appears to be a three story building but, upon closer inspection, it is actually two stories built atop a parking garage, so that if the water rises people's cars don't get flooded. Much like Houston.

As an aside, I should note that there was a plaque down near the county building saying the local Black population had boycotted the schools for the entire 1968-9 school year because Brown v Board had not been implemented. Astonishing that a place this unpopulated would incur the additional expense of separate schools even with a gun pointed at its head. Probably they didn't incur huge expenses educating Black kids, but still.

All the fields seem like negotiations with nature and are likewise ringed by raised levees. I wonder what they grow here, other than water fowl and other huntables.

I could go on but actually see I had better start getting organized to exit this place at 10 because, as the signs all around tell us, there is no late checkout. Not that there's anyone here surveiling us.

Saturday, January 28, 2023

Hunting season at Mattamuskeet

As I had mentioned, there are two restaurants in Hyde County on the mainland. Last night we checked out Harris's Steakhouse, on the north side of the lake. We got there and there was almost no place to park. The place was packed. It seems we have arrived in these parts right in the heart of duck hunting season, and Hyde County is all about hunting. Duck hunting, deer hunting, bear hunting, pheasant hunting... To be more precise, our visit has coincided with a weekend of adult duck hunting. There are a couple more weekends of youth or children's hunting coming up.

But make no mistake, it is man time in Hyde County, and it was man time at Harris's Steakhouse. The place was not only rocking, it was booming. We ended up in the bar room, where Mary was one of a peak of 3 women in the room who were not serving. It was loud as fuck. Then they turned on some rock music, for good measure, though it was too loud to make out more than bass and drums. I'm pretty sure there was a Creedence song in there somewhere.

It took an hour for our food to get to us. We had sat down at a six top with plates and food on it because it was the only table there was. We pushed the plates and stuff aside. It was never bussed. They were bussing on an as-needed basis. When our food finally got there, my fried seafood platter was delicious. Mary's barbeque was fine. We were glad to have gotten fed and even happier to leave.

Friday, January 27, 2023

Headed East

Mary and I are headed East to Hyde County and Lake Mattamuskeet where she wants to take some pictures. Should be interesting. It's a pretty sparsely populated place. There are about 4500 residents of the whole county, which encompasses Ocracoke, down from about 9,000 sometime in the 19th century. The county seat, where we are staying, is Swan Quarter, a town so small it doesn't have a restaurant that serves dinner. There are two schools, one on Ocracoke, one on the mainland. Each of them serves K-12. Mom says it's really beautiful. I'll report back.

In other news, I have a new laptop, an LG. Consumer Reports said only LG among makers of Windows machines rivalled Apple for reliability over time and customer satisfaction. It is marginally less slim and sexy than the Dell it replaces, but then again it has USB and HDMI ports as opposed to trying to jam all peripherals in through USB-C ones, which makes you go out and buy a fleet of adapters. I decided that buying a Dell would be all about vanity, which I am trying to dial back.

Right now I am having a problem running the local Outlook client, but that's a Microsoft problem and probably comes from running two instances of OneDrive -- one personal, one work -- on the computer. I'll sort it out next week. Outlook in a browser works fine as long as there's internet and if there's no internet, there's no email.

Meanwhile, Mary's iMac is having some disturbing issues of its own after she installed some RAM all by her lonesome, for which I am proud of her.

I apologize for all the IT news, but it was fit to print.


Oh yeah. Speaking of peripherals last night I was on a Google Hangout and it wasn't letting me use my external camera, so I was momentarily scorning Google. Then I figured out the external camera wasn't plugged in. Dooohhh!

Tuesday, January 24, 2023

Respect for money

Over the last couple of days I've been listening to an interview with Sam Zell, a very successful investor who's developed a bad reputation over time in some circles for taking the axe to newspapers in Chicago and LA. As a child of Polish immigrants in Chicago, Zell said that he grew up associating money with freedom and that he had a great deal of respect for people with money.

That wasn't how it was with me. The person in my world who had the most money was my mom's dad, who was a decidedly mixed figure. He was drunk often due to his alcoholism and much of the time he was an out and out jerk. At his worst he would hit on Leslie. He criticized me for reading at the table at big dinners at restaurants while my cousin Martin was leading Leslie around the dining room stealing tips off of tables. Here in Chapel Hill the doctor with the big fancy house across the lake (I won't mention his name, many of you know who I'm talking about) was reputed to be a child molester. The families I knew in Durham seemed at the time to be pretty much philistines. They had barely any books on display in their big houses. 

By now I've obviously developed a more nuanced view on the whole thing. I do appreciate that almost invariably those who make money work really hard and it's always interesting to talk to them about their businesses and what they've learned from building them. Efficient markets and competition pretty much insure that no business is simple or easy. But that wasn't where I started.

Monday, January 23, 2023

Getting in gear

Graham ended up staying at home for the weekend after coming back to get the Subaru to take Carolyn out for dinner and a movie on Friday. We were a little surprised he stayed, because he had seemed to have evolved into Mr Independent over the last few weeks, but we were happy to have him. I decided to make full use of him.


All my stuff from my old office -- my bookshelves, filing cabinet and boxes of business and finance books in particular -- had been clogging up our rec room since the end of September. I put Graham's growing muscles to work to get all of that out of the house and up to the office. This trip also provided the occasion for what Graham has historically termed a "son-father" experience (Who am I to correct him in the slightly unidiomatic formulation?). So we drove all the stuff up to my office and brought it upstairs late Saturday afternoon. I unboxed the books today, and I'm very happy to have all of them here and available for viewing and perusal.

After Graham and I had moved the shelves and boxes I hustled off to Li Ming's to grab some sweet niangao for Jonathan and Sharon's Chinese New Year's party on Sunday. The atmosphere at the store was super-festive, which was actually a little surprising because -- as Jonathan told me -- the night before New Year's is called Reunion Dinner and it's when Chinese families have their smaller, more intimate gatherings. So the store might well have been closed. As it was, I was at length able to find what I was looking for from some of the few and far between staff. At check out, everyone wished each other Happy New Year. The woman at the cashier asked if I wanted a calendar and I said "that's alright," knowing it wouldn't fit with our decor anywhere. She gave me one anyway.

Sunday, January 22, 2023

The power of routine

A few years ago at dinner out the night before Thanksgiving or something Leslie asked me if I was highly routinized. I hadn't thought about it that much, but I am incredibly routinized.

Take for instance, my pancake routine. Regular readers will of course know that Sunday is pancake day in our house, as it has been for decades. When I get up what I do is pretty much set in stone: pour joice drink and drink from it, make coffee, toast nuts, heat up syrup, mix wet ingredients (milk, egg plus supplement [pumpkin or sweet potato) in bowl, add dry ingredients (premixed in the cabinet in 4-week batches to get around the problem of Graham getting up later -- since he was put in charge of the dry ingredient mix years ago) and mix, put pan on stove to preheat, go out in driveway to get paper. There is more refinement than this around the size and type of measuring cups and the order in which they are used, but I'll spare you.

Having a routine frees up mental resources to focus on other things. It's really not unlike what Marx said should happen with employees working on production lines: as they get integrated into processes, their minds could wander and ponder class consciousness, the revolution, and so on. Likewise, to the extent I can liberate myself from little concerns (where are my keys, what is for lunch, when will I exercise, what will I watch on TV) my brain is freed to work on bigger picture stuff.

Friday, January 20, 2023

What kings do

Continuing on through the Old Testament, Kings, Chronicles and whatnot, the Bible seems like an infinite cycle of successions and conquests, of rulers and people forgetting to worship the Lord and destroy hill-shrines to Baal, so destruction is visited upon them. It gets pretty routinized.

Here it is distilled to its quintessence, Chronicles 1:20 "In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, Joab led out the armed forces. He laid waste the land of the Ammonites and went to Rabbah and besieged it, but David remained in Jerusalem. Joab attacked Rabbah and left it in ruins. David took the crown from the head of their king—its weight was found to be a talent of gold, and it was set with precious stones—and it was placed on David’s head. He took a great quantity of plunder from the city and brought out the people who were there, consigning them to labor with saws and with iron picks and axes. David did this to all the Ammonite towns. Then David and his entire army returned to Jerusalem." 

I had never really thought of it like that: spring comes, and it's time to go out a-conquerin' because that's just how the world was/is and that's what kings did: they went out and took land and slaves. Certainly that was the case in the Old Testament. It was perhaps rational in the absence of both technological progress and the improvements in unit productivity which aid economic growth and also a universalizing ethics-based moral framework which discouraged undifferentiated slaughter.

Probably Stephen Pinker is not wrong in his thesis from The Better Angels of Our Nature, in which he argues that a key metric of progress is the decreasing probability over time that males will die at the hands of other males, whether in war or just in crime/local violence. Ukraine notwithstanding, the post-WWII phase of history still looks pretty good.

Thursday, January 19, 2023

The state of struggle

I was measuring Adam's SUV yesterday evening after tennis to see if I could fit a piece of furniture in there and I accidentally put my keys down back there like a doofus. Then he drove off. Which I discovered when I walked back to my car and stood next to my door. Usually the magic of modern technology just opens the door. This time it did not. By the time I figured out what had happened, the best option was to get a Lyft to take me to get the keys and back to my car.

I was picked up by a Black guy whom we'll call Theo to respect his anonymity. Turns out Theo had lived most recently in Orlando before moving back maybe a decade ago, but much of his early life had been in Chapel Hill and like me he had gone to both Seawell and Phillips. He had also spent a year in East Orange, NJ and also had spent time in Germany as well as places like Fort Bragg because his mom had been in the armed forces.

The striking thing was how much of his life story was about fights and getting his ass kicked or not. In East Orange when he was 10 these three girls were really mean to him and were kicking his ass. In Germany many years later he recounted this long drawn-out tale of how there was a conflict with someone and he was really ripped and he was saying to the other guy this and that about how he was gonna whump him than the other guy clocked him in the back of his head as he was walking away and he got a contusion then his mom shipped him home. About 60% of the ride was about fights he had been in.

Really nice guy. But it was striking how literally incidents of fisticuffs punctuated his life.

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Ongoing

What can I say about today? Really it's just another day of managing through. Marvin's almost done with our painting project. Mary started talking about the downstairs bathroom(s) yesterday at dinner but I think we focus on new closets etc. upstairs first, which is feasible because of my new office which will let Mary cull some of her old photo stuff. I know I should do the same with some of my books, especially the old Russian ones, so I can't be too hard on her for holding onto things. I also need to find a new home for a piano my mom saved from the dump back in 1963 or something. 


I need to give money to a charity -- Extraordinary Ventures -- that is run by our friend Lisa. I explained last night to Mary that I have been giving in larger chunks to non-profits we love and we need to continue in that vein. I have travel to plan and client meetings to prepare for. One older client is suing someone for non-payment of a loan he extended against my recommendation. One younger client took money from a 529 in a stupid way and is probably going to get dinged for it: that's how we learn things, by making mistakes when we are younger.

At the end of the day there's tennis with Adam in my new shoes, followed by some sort of information session about lake finances -- initiatives I championed when a Board member then chair and have been carried forward by the new Board. I will show up and listen and try not to butt in too much, because I have stepped away from that.

All in all, another day. The sun appears determined to shine. 

Monday, January 16, 2023

Quiet celebration -- MLKJ Day

A quick blog search shows that I have reflected on the nature of the Martin Luther King Jr holiday a number of times. Generally my sentiment has been that it is undercelebrated, but the fact is that after the quick succession of Thanksgiving, Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Festivus...) and New Year's Day we have had quite enough celebrating. In many ways a key virtue of the holiday is that there are no expectations around it. No dinners or even cookouts or games. In this regard it is rivalled by only Presidents' Day and Veterans' Day -- though the latter has elections.

Mary and I just took down the Christmas tree. We may have been the last right around here to do so, but then again we were away for a week of its tenure and our cats do love it so, especially Leon, who likes to camp out behind it and drink its sweet sweet water. It's a Christmas miracle that he doesn't puke more, honestly. I think it's not the first time we've taken the tree down on Martin's day.

So today I am reading my mystery novel and, if I get energetic, going to Raleigh to exchange some tennis shoes I ordered through the mail but ended up, quite mysteriously, being small.


Sunday, January 15, 2023

Yale hat at the store

Early in the development of my practice, I would sometimes strategically use branded stuff like a Yale baseball cap to generate random conversations at the store. Honestly you never know who might walk up to you and start off the typical conversation: "What residential college were you in?"


The other day I went to Harris Teeter wearing my 25th reunion hat and, frankly, thought I might be open to playing the game. And, as if according to script, an older guy (i.e. older than me) says to me at the self-checkout: "Nice hat!" with that twinkle in his eye. "Thanks," I said, in actuality feeling no energy for the game.

I think I am just pretty much tapped out in terms of network size, limited by the Dunbar number. It's more than hard enough to keep track of the people I already know and their kids. My book of business is mature, I can hardly maintain my existing pipeline. In principle I am open to meeting new people and am mindful that it's typical of people as they age to trim down their networks, though I see the downside to that. In general, I won't lose sleep if I never exchange business cards with anyone again.

Friday, January 13, 2023

Lesson learned from computer work

Yesterday at the end of the day I picked up my laptop after leaving it to have its battery and keyboard replaced. The vendor took too long and didn't communicate well, which was frustrating. But the guy who owns the shop seems very nice and I'd like for him to succeed, so I'm not going to flame him.

Though I was a little agitated yesterday morning when the guy who answered the phone told me my repair was still not done (it was supposed to have been done the night before) and I was tempted to run out and buy a Chromebook so I'd have a backup device. I talked it over with Mary and in the end I came home from the office (more on my new office later), had lunch, and took her Chromebook back to the office for the afternoon, relegating her to the less comfortable chair in her studio with the iMac for afternoon computing. I was even able to plug my external monitor into Mary's device and it worked.

And I figured out what I needed to do rebuild my work desktop on her device. Everything was in the cloud, including both work and personal files -- in separate instances of Microsoft 365. I had all the passwords I needed in the password manager on my phone (for which I realize I need better backup -- including offline [a flash drive stored in our safe] in case the phone crashes or is lost). From this I realized that my firm needs to write up a procedure for this use case -- what to do to get up and running on a new or replacement computer or for a new employee.

But the most important lesson I learned -- or was reminded of -- was not getting bent out of shape about little bullshit, like some vendor taking much longer to do something than was promised. 


Monday, January 09, 2023

China's reopening as a human story

A week or so back I was talking to a friend in Paris, a brilliant and very wordly guy with a very realpolitik view of the world. I said I thought that we had a duty towards the people of China to wish for the best for them in their reopening, almost to pray for them, though I didn't use those words. His view was that the social contract that the Chinese have tacitly accepted is a high degree of central control and a ceding of individual rights in exchange for economic growth.

While there's some truth to what he's saying, when I see pictures of Chinese family members reunited with their kids after China reopened, I can't really accept it. We have to wish and to some extent advocate for the best for them, which in our minds has to involve greater measures of freedom and bottom up governance than what they currently enjoy. This is not the same as saying that we have the right to impose our vision of the details of that and what are appropriate tradeoffs between individual and collective interests. But right now the pendulum has been swinging in the wrong direction, just as under Deng and his successors it largely swung in the right direction, however clumsily and imprecisely.

Similarly in Iran, we can't wade in and depose the regime. We saw what happened when we did that back in 1953, but we should cheer for the people and especially the women of Iran as they push for liberalization.

Sunday, January 08, 2023

The Swarm

After tennis yesterday I went to Whole Foods to pick up some stuff for dinner. The place was bombed out. There was virtually no lettuce, absolutely no scallions, no loose yellow onions (only five-pound bags), and a bunch of other veggies were likewise in low supply. I theorized that it was because everyone was coming back to UNC but Mary wasn't buying it, refusing to accept that college students would 1. be shopping at Whole Foods and 2. be buying that much lettuce.

This afternoon after dropping Graham at his dorm I went to Harris Teeter to get some other stuff. It wasn't as fully shopped out as Whole Foods, but it was low on some stuff and there were an awful lot of college students in there. As I came around one corner some young ladies shrieked "Oh my God!" in unison and smothered one another in sororal hugs. It was back to school time indeed.

I must say that it feels nice, after living half of my life in this town, to actually feel in rhythm and close contact with the universe. Certainly we've always noted the ebbs and flows of the students, appreciating both the energy when they are here and how much easier it is to do things -- especially uptown -- when they're not. But now we are much more in it.

The correct course of action

Yesterday we flew home through LaGuardia, the new LaGuardia, I might add. It really is quite incredible what they've done there. Admittedly, I haven't been in all its concourses since its renovation, but everything I've seen is an immense improvement over what used to be the case.


We were flying American, and after a slower path through security than would have been ideal (I'll spare you the truly boring details) we arrived at the main food court area with maybe 45 minutes before boarding. We found a cluster of chairs and began filling water bottles, going to the bathroom, assessing lunch options... By the time all that was done it was 20 minutes to board and I decided we had better head out to our gate, which was the last one on the concourse. As we headed out, I saw that there was one of those moving walkways. Mindful of the ungodly length of the terminals at the new JFK and also my mom's experience having to walk over a mile while switching planes at Charlotte back in November -- and almost missing her flight -- I suggested we hop on the moving walkway to make better time. Mary refused outright and said she was going to stick to walking on normal ground, with the clear intent of getting more steps in (I know her well. It was all about getting more exercise). Turns out, it was a short walk before we got to the gate due to clever design, so she was "right."

Or was she? What Mary did in this case was more or less like picking a stock that happens to do well. Her decision was not evidence-based, though in principle she's right to aim for more exercise. But if we had had a really long walk we might have not made good time (though we were safe from the POV of actual boarding, there was no real risk). But the decision wasn't well thought through. From a risk management perspective it was better to hedge by using the moving walkways, just like it's better to diversify a portfolio.

OK, maybe she was just right. But I will never, ever tell her that. Good thing she doesn't read my blog.

Wednesday, January 04, 2023

A tasty tour

I had to drop Natalie at Newark Airport today to send her on her way back to Alaska. It was of course sad, but it is good to release her back into the wilds so she can keep flourishing. We had had a good visit, it was time.

From there I hustled into Newark's Ironbound neighborhood, a longtime stronghold of a Portuguese community to have lunch at the Iberian Restaurant, a classic old Portuguese place, where I had basically a paella and also nibbled some on my friend Larry's mixed grill platter. As lunches go, it was excessive. From there I hauled ass out to Bedminster where I met my old colleague Hemant for coffee at a place called Taekwon Coffee, a small coffee shop in the front of a laundromat. All good.

Then I hustled back up 287 and across the Hudson before rush hour got really bad. As I pulled into the driveway I got a text from Mary informing me that she had no plans for dinner, which was convenient as we had been discussing getting pizza from this place La Manda's, a classic pizzeria founded in 1927 or so about 7 minutes from George's house that somehow nobody had ever noticed until my keen eye espied it on the way back from Rockefeller State Park a year or so ago. Natalie, George and I had checked out its fare last summer and had found it to be delish. As a place, it's just what one would expect viewing it from the street, all ancient booths and pine-paneled walls, as if striding straight from the pages of the Hardy Boys.

But they had messed up our order. I had ordered a cheeseless pie for Graham, and they had made one with cheese. So the manager or owner came and told me they had messed it up and it would be about 8 minutes more. Then he got me a drink, started asking me about Graham's allergy. I told him how much I loved the place and when he heard I was from NC, he told me about his best buddy who had moved down to Cary and started a small network of ATMs and then had flipped some houses... In no time the pizza was ready. And he even threw in the mistake pizza for free. All in all, it was perfect hospitality, really the high point of the day. Good service, turned a potentially negative situation into pure positive.

Tuesday, January 03, 2023

Chasing Pepys

Of late I've been thinking a bit more about Samuel Pepys, the 17th century British member of Parliament most famous now for his diary, which he maintained for a paltry 10 years. I am of course moving up towards 20 before too long. Pepys is estimated to have written a million words or so in that time period, which is pretty respectable. I reckon the Grouse is somewhere in that ballpark right about now.

Pepys's diary wins plaudits for its depiction of London society during the Restoration period, and I must confess that the blog is often fairly wanting in that regard, and particularly since the onset of COVID, when all too much of our lives has been driven back into our homes, or at least mine has.

In the early years of the blog, 2004-2009, when I was commuting to New York and flying to client sites more, I had more opportunity to observe things in the world, and I recall some great posts from back then. More recently I am largely bound to my desk, the car, and the eternal battle against the infernal Z on the clay of the Farm.

I'm in New York now. Natalie and I just went to H Mart and to Trader Joe's to stock up on some goodies she will take back with her to Juneau. At H Mart I examined the baked goods in the curious Korean French cafe at the front of all of them but resisted the temptation to splurge. Natalie and I both marveled at the wondrous stacks of huge bags of rice at the front of the store and the fluffy white goodness they bespoke. As we were going into Trader Joe's some bitch in an Audi SUV was accelerating in the parking lot as she approached where we were about to cross, so I walked out into the lane and looked her directly in the eye to get her to slow the fuck down and respect pedestrians. She waved her hand as if she were letting us through, when I in fact was making her slow down. She was just in denial.

Sunday, January 01, 2023

The New Yorker

Somewhere along there in my formative years, starting during my time with Hilary but then in full immersive fashion once Mary and I became first a couple and then a family, I became aware that this magazine The New Yorker had within it a full culture which contained its fullest flowering in the William Shawn era before its famous debasement under Tina Brown and more or less redemption under David Remnick. I remember feeling somewhat left out of it all, of encountering mounds of old magazines in the attic in Larchmont that were never quite old enough to get back to the very best stuff, compounded by the fact that I was too busy learning to survive/flourish in the for profit world and raise children to actually plumb its depths.

As it turns out, of course, the golden age of the magazine is all preserved in books and I've read much of it that way, first and foremost the work of books of Johns Brooks and McPhee but also McPhee's student Peter Hessler. In fact, it is much harder to find a good non-fiction writer who hasn't at one point in time been associated with the magazine than one who has. For example, it is likely not accidental that Michael Lewis somehow was never a staff writer there. There is probably a story there about him fighting with Tina Brown, or somebody on the staff being close to John Gutfreund, or...

But I degress. 

When Dwight first came into the Berridge house in Larchmont the night of our rehearsal dinner in 1997, he was immediately struck by how much it was the quintessence of an old New York City suburb house with decades of stories baked into everything. To me it was just the Berridge house, I guess it was the first such one I had ever spent a lot of time in.

And now, as 2023 kicks off, I find myself once more in the bedroom of George and Susan's in White Plains, a pale shadow of Larchmont, but surrounded by much of the old stuff, even if it is shoehorrned into the middle of the southern bric a brac with which Susan furnished this house before retreating first to Texas, then to Mississippi.

I have myself long since felt myself a naturalized citizen of the NYC metro area, even though we live in NC. I love much about this place, though I am happy that we just visit it now. I can live with that.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

Ringing it out

In White Plains, typical scenes. Great sibling togetherness after Michigan goes down to Texas Christian in a hard-fought national semi-final game at the Fiesta Bowl. Then the forks come out. First Rob insists that the leftovers be put in the fridge though Mary likes them left out in anticipation of her late night snack. Then Rob says something about how foolish Mary was to have washed Graham's backpack because the cats had peed on it ("I couldn't smell anything.") and Mary goes off on him. Ah family.

Outside it is blustery but mild for this time of year. There was zero visibility out the window when we landed at LaGuardia till our wheels touched down. Gotta love that modern technology.

All in all, a decent way to ring out 2022. It was a dramatic year in some ways, in others it was just nature taking its course. Mary Lee left us, but she had had a good long life and had for some time been having a range of pain and discomfort, so at least that's done. And in the end it seems like her passing could have been much worse. 

The markets went down, but we knew they had to so that's no big shock. People traveled around and saw loved ones and the world. 2023 will be the year China works though its own exit pains.

Certainly we could have done without the war in Ukraine. Putin is an ass of world-historical proportions, and it's not clear who might come after him who would be better. Navalny could be, but that ain't happening.

What will be next, we'll see starting tomorrow.

Friday, December 30, 2022

Attacks on civilians tend to backfire

As Putin attempts to bomb Ukrainians into frozen submission by destroying their utilities during winter, I am reminded of an important and unexpected point from Humankind, a book by Rutger Bregman that Natalie suggested for me and which turns out to have been recommended to her by Rob. Turns out that attempts to bomb civilians into submission never work, they only serve to bring people together and make them more resilient. Indeed, Putin himself might think back to Russia's own greatest moments of triumph, Napoleon's 1812 retreat, the 900-day siege of Leningrad, etc. That is in fact how the steel is tempered.

In the west, we need to be careful we don't do something similar with our economic sanctions. Thus far we haven't crippled Russia economically. Instead, we seem to have hardened the interdependence of Russia and China, or rather Russia's dependence on China. Geostrategically the most dangerous thing to have happened recently may well have been Xi Jinping's visit to Saudi Arabia a few weeks back. If the Saudis start falling more within China's sphere of influence and shipping oil to China settled in yuan rather than dollars, that erodes the dollar's primacy as global reserve currency, one of the key components of our economic standing. 

If we end up isolating ourselves on the world stage with only the EU -- the world's largest theme park and luxury manufacturer -- as an ally, things get tougher. The Global South has already showed us it doesn't care that much about one set of white people invading another, largely because we don't get worked up when people of color who don't own oil invade one another. The world is complex and we need to keep that in mind.

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

The Problem of McPhee's Poetics

In his 1929 book The Problem of Dostoevsky's Poetics Mikhail Bakhtin focuses on Dostoevsky's practice of hiding his voice behind those of his characters. In Dostoevsky for the first time in Western Art, he tells us, the author builds full and robust points of view for characters who disagree with one another and even the author. After all, it is the vignette of the grand inquisitor which is the most famous and remembered part of The Brothers Karamazov -- but that's Ivan speaking there, the antipode of Dostoevsky's favorites (Alyosha and Zosima). And so on in other books.

Making my way towards the end of John McPhee's 1977 book about Alaska, Coming Into the Country, I am struck by how much the same thing could be said of McPhee. He spends tons of time in the wilds with hardcore libertarian gold miners and other back country survivalists who are very keen to share their opinions of matters various and sundry, first and foremost the American government and its lack of business in the wilds of Alaska. He is a faithful transcriber of long monologues of their disquisitions, without ever tipping his hand as to his opinion of what they say. In some sense I suppose one might say his is just a good journalist if the transition from dialogue (or monologue, as the case may be) to description and anecdote were not so sculpted.

In fact, one facet of McPhee's character's speeches is how implausibly verbatim they are. It's possible he might have taped people speaking, but highly unlikely, given that it was the 70s when he wrote this and often he is in a canoe or a loud truck or plane when the conversation is said to take place. At times the characters' rambling are so long and verbose as to be as implausible as the dialogues of Knausgaard. So that the characters in fact are voices in McPhee's chorus of types, but the author is as if away on vacation.

Monday, December 26, 2022

Christmas update

We had a lovely holiday. As my main present to Mary, I planned, shopped for and cooked both Christmas Eve dinner (nian gao with pork) and Christmas dinner proper (seared duck break with a blackberry sauce, rosti, and roast vegetables). Natalie made an awesome carrot cake. I made and maintained a fire, no mean feat itself given that my main fuel is limbs that have come down in the backyard and the park, many of which aren't perfectly cured just yet and which are just smaller than cut wood. I could of course order up some cut wood, and it would be nice to see Scott Jens when he delivers it, but there's less sport in that.

This year I got fewer presents than ever: only a Patagonia fleece vest to supplement my Eddie Bauer one which is my current winter omnigarment, but which has had a whole worn in its inner pocket over years (a decade?) of wear. I had ordered the new one weeks before Christmas but didn't open it so that Mary could give it to me as a present. The anticipation was killing me. Natalie correctly noted that wearing it made me even more of a finance bro, but if a professional uniform clan is soft, comfortable and affordable, what's not to like?

I also ordered a new desk lamp from Walmart (at Wirecutter's recommendation) that hasn't gotten here yet. The wait is making it so much sweeter. Natalie also brought us a nice chocolate bar and a lovely Christmas ornament from Alaska. But I got no books, which is totally fine because I already have so many.

My final present to Mary is to get Marvin over here to do some painting, a task which requires some attention.

Anyhoo, all in all it was a fine day. Mom came over and seemed to appreciate the whole thing, including the fire. Also the fact that Graham and Natalie have each gone over to spend an afternoon with her this week, when she is stuck around her apartment getting over a fractured patella and a broken wrist. 

Saturday, December 24, 2022

Shark Smile

 Last night Natalie had some friends over and they stayed kinda late. They were loud and just downstairs from our bedroom, so I needed to kill time in my study before heading to bed. Soccer has only half started back since the World Cup, so there was none of that to watch, except some old highlights from back in the day (France-Brazil 2006, with Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Zidane, Kaka, Roberto Carlos, Thierry Henry, Patrick Viera, Frank Rivery and a few others. I did watch that and -- in the end -- I remembered watching the goal live all those years ago, a perfect pass from a free kick from Zidane to Henry that he volleyed into the roof of the net in an historic moment of perfection [Indeed, a few minutes of research shows that I blogged about that game in this post]).

But once the soccer was done, I had to move on to music, and I saw a Josh Turner video of him on the beach with one of the women he collaborates with often, doing a Big Thief song I hadn't heard before: "Shark Smile." I listened and liked it, so I decided to check out Big Thief doing it and, perhaps not shockingly, I was quite taken with it. Big Thief is a special band. Adrienne Linker, the lead singer, is a genius songwriter and a rare anomaly, someone who to hear her speak one would think was amongst the more fragile on the planet, but nonetheless able to front a rock band. She can both roar and squeak.


"Shark Smile" captivates in a rare way. It fits well into the tradition of car wreck songs going back to Dorsey Dixon's "Wreck on the Highway." I'd be very interested to hear Springsteen's take on it. 

After listening to a few versions I felt like I owed them some money, so I went to their merch store. I remembered that I needed long-sleeve T-shirts, as my current quiver is worn out from pandemic work from home overuse. So I bought one.


Friday, December 23, 2022

Home for the holidays

After a pretty arduous day which involved getting up at 3:45 to be on a 5amish flight from Juneau to Seattle but also being at Denver International late in the day (Denver was one of the airports with the most cancelled flights) Natalie made it home, albeit at around 1am. All good.

The press has made a big deal out of how many flights have been cancelled. The Journal for instance this morning trumpeted the fact that 6,000 flights had been cancelled since Wednesday.

But how many flights are there each day in the United States. Google tells me that there are about 100,000 of them, so 6,000 over three days is about 2%. The fact that a lot of these flights were out of specific airports (Denver and O'Hare, so probably also Midway) makes for some good photo ops. But it doesn't mean that the actual scale of disruption has been so awful. As always, if it bleeds it leads, and the business of American media is corralling eyeballs, attracting attention above all else. 

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Skill vs luck in parenting

Graham went out to Linda's Bar for trivia night and got his traditional pink lemonade, which gave Mary and me a good chuckle, as it always does. At the age of 19 we were most certainly not getting pink lemonade at bars. To top it off, afterwards -- as I could tell by looking at his bank account transactions today -- he went to Insomnia Cookies, presumably for a warm chocolate chip one.

Mary and I often reflect on our good fortune as reflected in the children we have raised. Each of them has done well in school and, much more importantly, turned out to be a really fine young person.

Others are more likely to credit us with having done a good job to raise such nice kids. It is harder for the two of us to climb onto that wagon, though I must admit that we have both tried hard to do the footwork of being good parents: being home a lot, going on on family vacations, making the visiting of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins integral to our way of life, etc. We've also striven to keep our tempers in check for the most part. Mary thinks I get bent out of shape when I am stuck in traffic and, while she is not altogether wrong, she doesn't understand how much better my temper is than my dad's, so I am a huge improvement on my baseline.

Of course, if I had truly done a better job raising Graham, he would have thought to buy his dad one of those delicious chocolate chip cookies last night at Insomnia. So there is clearly room for improvement.


On prayer

My cousin's husband has been fighting off some form of cancer, I'm pretty sure it's a leukemia because he's had a couple of bone marrow transplants (my inability to keep track of people's specific cancers is another topic altogether -- generally I figure I am not an oncologist so my staying up on the details means nothing so why bother sweating that). My cousin has done a remarkable job keeping everyone up to date with what's going on with him via CaringBridge and has even kept us up daily on uneventful days ("today he took a nap and then had delicious fried chicken for dinner.") Undoubtedly she has used the process of daily journaling on CaringBridge as part of her discipline to stay positive and forward-looking.

Even more important than the journaling, unquestionably, has been their Christian faith. It is clear that they use the concept of "God's plan" for them to say centered and not be overwhelmed by the very real challenges that face them. I find it hard to imagine a reason to criticize this.

But I hesitate to offer prayers, which are continually solicited by CaringBridge, as someone who doesn't share that specific faith. Similarly, when people are offering sympathy on Facebook etc. on the frequent occasion of the passing of someone's parent, there's often a tacit pressure to offer prayers. Indeed, "I will hold you in my thoughts and prayers" seems like the best and most appropriate thing to say. But I don't really pray so it just doesn't feel right. It feels in some sense like a debasing of the term prayer.

Or is it? Is it necessary to believe in a specific deity or belong to a specific faith community to pray? Is the simple fact of directing energy and consciousness towards someone else's situation sufficient? Maybe what I don't want to do is intimate to others that I am part of their community so as not to offend them. Or am I in fact misleading myself?

Monday, December 19, 2022

Mbappe the whiny little bitch

Mbappe had an opportunity to show some class at the end of the World Cup. He did not.

I understand that he wanted to win, of course he did. He scored a hat trick, four goals if you count the PK in the shoot out. But France lost. And it lost to Mbappe's teammate from PSG, Messi. There was an opportunity for Mbappe to shake it off and go congratulate Messi. Had he done so, it would have reflected well on him.

Instead he looked pissed off on camera, kept President Macron waiting. Then today he Tweets "We'll be back." Frankly, I hope he won't. I hope he caves to the pressure like his punk-assed teammate Neymar and never makes it back. 

Saturday, December 17, 2022

Frittering away

Just finished Viet Thanh Nguyen's The Sympathizer, which was quite good. Which should surprise no one, as it did win a Pulitzer, so basically I agree with the canon-making powers that be.

It occurred to me that I had not gone and updated my Amazon list. I have strict instructions on it that people should sort it by priority and buy me the books ranked highest, but some people don't see that note and breeze right past it. In general I probably am too quick to add books to the list, so that there are a lot of half-baked choices on it. I am impressionable and easily swayed by a positive review, forgetting of course that reviews are just modest emanations of the book-industrial complex, coming to sucker readers like me into purchasing their beguiling wares.

Thankfully, I have instructed Mary not to buy me any books this year, since I have a rather substantial backlist of unread books on the shelf behind me, to say nothing of ones elsewhere in the house. What I really need is a new reading lamp for the reading chair up here in my study. The Journal had an add for one that is said to be killer, but then Mary said she wanted to pick it out. Then she just burst in here saying she didn't know what I wanted and I needed to help her figure that out. So I better get on that.

Friday, December 16, 2022

Off to the races

Much of the time I would normally be blogging has been eaten up recently by reading. Reading the Bible has become a rather fascinating endeavor, certainly not because every episode in it is enthralling. Still in the middle of the Old Testament now, in one of the two Kings books. For now it is generally quite repetitive, as we go from one king and/or tribe that strays from the true path, most often by worshipping some God other than Yahweh by erecting altars or pillars, and whom the Lord then smites in turn, sometimes hundreds of thousands of them. My mind goes back to Ernst Gombrich's Little History of the World which portrays the Hebrews as this uniquely peace-loving folk, revolutionary monotheists who possess a religion that focuses on ethics. Admittedly, he is trying to compress an awful lot into 120 or so pages, and I do love that book. But he elides an awful lot.

But then in the middle of this serial straying and punishing of kings and their subjects there are moments of interest, you just have to wait for them.

Today my phone started blowing up early, which disrupted my morning routine a little. Working on logistics around a get-together and also some back and forth with mom about some land in Roxboro we hope to dispose of one of these decades. All of which is distracting.

Got Marvin by the house yesterday to look at some painting we want to get done (Mary's Xmas present is knocking this out). Of course that took two hours, but honestly that's why we have Marvin do our painting. So I can get some private hanging out time with my boy.  

Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Fast- and slow-twitch mindset

Ran into my neighbor Russ up at the end of the driveway when I was picking up my paper (which had been delivered as always by Monica Romweber). Russ was training for a 40-mile race in the Uwharries sometime in the not too distant future, his first race at that length. The conversation quickly descended into the fast- (sprinter) vs. slow- (endurance) twitch distinction, I always see myself as more of a fast-twitch person. Then Russ reminded me that he too used to be a fast-twitch person. He used to be a fixed wheel bike track sprinter back in his youth, national if not world-class. "It's a mindset thing" he said.


I am loth to let go of my fast-twitch mindset. I still love being able to jump, over the tennis net for instance, and I love the thrill of running flat out after a ball. But I also appreciate some of the joys of the things that slow-twitch activities (long bike rides, hikes or runs) allow me to do. They let me go places I wouldn't otherwise go, and at a very different pace and in a very different physiological state than one has in a car, so I see the world differently, which has its own advantages.

But ultimately I think it is hard for me to go all the way over to a slow-twitch athletic gestalt because so much of the rest of my life is ultra long view. Financial planning, raising children, being in the community, etc. Shit, this here blog fits into the long view box. Even my diet is of necessity trending in that direction, as I dial back more and more short-term food thrills (meat, fried food, sugar, salt). I need to preserve a few treats/escapes, which right now for me is pretty much tennis and TV, particularly sitcoms. At least I think I do.


Monday, December 12, 2022

Leaving the house

In a very rare move, I will be leaving the house this morning for a number of things: first to meet my cousin Neva in Durham to pick up some gadget she has for my mom. Frankly, it all feels rather exciting and adventurous after this long period of working from home, if vaguely superfluous and somewhat frivolous. Admittedly, I will be doing things which involve actual atoms and not just bits: dropping off some old computer stuff at Triangle Ecycling, where if I'm lucky I'll get to see Larry Herst, the owner. I may also snatch up a spare laptop there, the same model I have here on my lap if a little newer. They seem to have a nice reconditioned one and mine is aging and right now Graham's computer is in the shop. I'll also pick up some cat food. Occasionally one needs to leave the house for something other than tennis, parties, or takeout.

BTW I apologize for dragging you through the mire of my quotidian realia. Sometimes it just happens and a man has to post and roll.

Saturday, December 10, 2022

More nocturnal ramblings

Somewhere overnight last night, I suppose it must have been a dream, I realized there was something so important that I really needed to write it on my weekend task list. It must have coincided with needing to pee so I actually got it there. When I looked this morning it just said "Teeth." Go figure.

I mentioned this to Mary and she said that not long ago I had been talking in my sleep during the night and she heard me say something like "that sounds like an excellent networking opportunity." Which is just sad.

Thursday, December 08, 2022

Dreams of Ukraine and plagiarism

This morning, just before waking, I dreamt that many of my peers (Jonathan Drake stands out) had been drafted to join in the conflict in Ukraine. Part of me was thinking of course that it was ridiculous that men of our age should be subject to a draft at all (though of course the Ukrainians aren't thinking like this at all right about now. They just ask themselves what they can do to get through their current hellish situation). Another part was glad that I, unlike my friends, hadn't been called up.

I must say that I had been thinking more and more in recent days about what people in Ukraine are going through now. We mustn't forget, though it is a reasonable critique that we do often forget what is going on in Yeman, in Tigray, in Baltimore, etc., and that managing down our fears and anxieties about the suffering of others is an essential precondition of functioning in the world. Being is complex.

My dream also had a plagiarism fear in it. I was shaking in my boots that the powers-that-be would figure out that my master's thesis had been 100% lifted from someone else, which was plain as the face of day on the thing if you just bothered to read it.

Wednesday, December 07, 2022

Kicking the girl off the plan

For the second time this year, I went through the whole Obamacare enrollment process, only this time I left Natalie off of our plan so that she can sign up for her own plan in Alaska. I had very mixed feelings about doing this. On the one hand, it's the right thing to do. Ain't nobody taking her insurance up there in Alaska. On the other... she's my little girl. I hate the feeling of excluding her from our household, although when I look at the IRS definition of what a dependent is for tax purposes, she just won't qualify starting next year. 

We had a brief conversation about some tax matters this afternoon, which was some good adulting for her. Aren't taxes paid in April? What is FICA? Are they withholding from my current paycheck? What is a deduction? How is that different from an exemption? My eyes quickly glazed over, but the sooner she learns the stuff, the better, in some very narrow sense. In another, I'd just as soon she remain ignorant of if a little while longer.

Tuesday, December 06, 2022

Court history, proximity to the divine, the real and the ideal

As I make my way through the Old Testament it's hard not to note its preference for court history (as opposed to stories and allegories of the doings of normal folk). Certainly since this was the central if not sole book in its people's religion back then, it's understandable that they'd want to keep straight who succeeded who and why.

But much more than that is going on, of course, which is why the study of Torah and the rest of the Old Testament is endless. The stories of the successive kings, their actions, their foibles, and the same of those around them is all about being close to God, or currying divine favor, as a guide to right and wrong. And i gets complicated. There are betrayals and pledges and reversals of all shapes and sizes. The great step forward comes when Solomon has a dream early in his reign and asks for the power to listen and discern so as to govern wisely, at which point in time the Lord says: "You got it." 

Shakespeare's work (which I now have a newly kindled desire to dig deeply and systematically into) seems to carry this theme forward, the doings of kings, queens and their consorts serving as models for everyone else, imbued with special significance because of their nominal divine sanction.

It's not like we've grown past this. One of the reasons for the great success of The Crown on Netflix is the richness and depth with which it meditates on the question of the royal family -- and in particular the Queen -- as mediator between real and divine. The last episode I watched, the first to focus on Mohammed Fayed, father of Dodi, soon to be Diana's lover. Early in the episode the young Mohammed -- living in Alexandria -- expresses his admiration of the British, I think even saying they are gods. Later, in the evening the queen discusses something with Phillip before bed and points skywards and indicates that she's thinking about God and his judgment on whatever they're talking about. Then she twice disdains to be in the presence of Mohammed, sending emissaries instead, the second time Diana. This, of course, will have consequences down the line...

Monday, December 05, 2022

Custom vs written law

For a history book group I'm in we've been "reading" (I've been listening in the car) to Linda Coffey's The Gun, The Ship and The Pen: Warfare, Constitutions and the Making of the Modern World. Once more, a rather wooden reading of a book is dragging the book down, though I suspect it would have been hard even for Meryl Streep or Sarah Silverman to make this one fun.


Which is not to say that the book lacks merits. I would scarcely want to do that, as it was I who recommended the book to the group. Coffey looks at the history of constitutions around the world from the mid-18th century forward and how their institution is intimately bound up with getting subject peoples to accept conscription.

As she catalogs the effusion of constitutions everywhere and the enthusiasm with which scribblers of all sorts jotted them on napkins the world around, one thing that becomes clear, as if it ever weren't, is that having a constitution don't mean shit. The American constitution has been a relative success -- in that it hasn't been thrown out and replaced for a long time or wantonly trampled upon -- because people take it seriously and because it has reasonable mechanisms for change. More important than the law itself is people's attitude towards it, again, in some sense, being infused with the spirit of the law, a desire to do the right thing. Hence the eternal theme in westerns and cop shows that the guy with the gun who really wants the right thing to happen ends up being more right in the deepest sense than the pencil pushers back in city hall or the capital city who are cramping his style.

But in reality it's always a complex dance and fraught with tension.  

Sunday, December 04, 2022

Full day

As expected, a full day. A bruch party at the Shanzer-Losos's where I ate a lot of bagels, lox and whitefish salad but shied away from the salad and fruit, because I am just like that. Then tennis with Adam.

Really not much to report. Am watching the news of rising COVID numbers in Europe etc. with a sense of resignation but also continual thankfulness that I live in the South so it's never really too cold to do a lot of stuff outdoors, and also that I am pretty well stocked up on books. By contrast, I just looked at the weather for Juneau and it looks less auspicious up there for Natalie. Later in the week one day has a high of 18 and a low of 13. I was gonna call Natalie today but it's sunny with a high of 32 so I am going to assume she is out adventuring somewhere, making use of the Sunday.

I have been very carefully husbanding video content, not blowing through serieses just because I like them. Instead, I am kind of treating my portfolio of TV shows as if it were the good old days when they showed shows once a week, so I'm watching one episode or so a week of the various things that I'm watching (The Crown, Derry Girls, Ozark, Counterpart, Call My Agent, I think that's it). So they each last for a while. Last night Graham was home for dinner and then we watched a couple of episodes of Bob's Burgers. Rascal lay on the couch behind my head and for a while I was resting my head on her as if she was literally a pillow. That's a good cat.


Friday, December 02, 2022

Discipline

After a vigorous week of money-wrangling and talking to people about their various issues (amongst them cancer, autistic children, divorce, retirement/moving into an assisted living community) I was really quite ready to sink into my office couch and read this here book at around 4:30. Then I looked at the weather and saw it was planning to rain tomorrow, which translates to a very bad day for raking. So I hauled my ass off the couch and went out into the yard and raked well past dark.

There are an awful lot of leaves, but I took care of a reasonable chunk of them, including the pesky ones on the patio that blow into the mud room unbidden. Then I lay in our epic multiyear leaf pile and checked out the moon while listening to some kids play with an illuminated frisbee over in the park. That looks like a pretty cool toy.