Today I took Adam 6-4. I haven't mentioned it to Mary, because it always annoys her when I do. She rolls her eyes and looks at me like "Do I have to listen to this again? I so don't care." But it's not really about me beating Adam, that's what she doesn't get. It's about me beating myself and stuffing down the doubting demon voices in there that tell me that he's better than I am, that I'm not supposed to win, something like that. Because those are very real, the doubting, the negative scripting, all this stuff that evolved from growing up scrawny with buck teeth and not as athletic as lots of other guys for a long time. Yeah I caught up in time, but it took a while, and it was to some extent because of the demons.
I may try to talk this through with Graham on the DL. Also, Mary probably doesn't realize that she gets an unrepresentative sample because I'm sure I talk about it less when I lose.
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