Squinting, focusing and perception

Natalie and I were out walking in the neighborhood a few weeks back -- actually, it was on my birthday, I recall -- and we were coming back down Kensington when I saw a 12- or 13-year old looking girl (I'm getting less good at guessing ages as I age myself). I may not have had my glasses on so I focused on her as we got closer to her to see who it was. You see, she looked familiar, like someone's daughter, and I was trying to figure out whose kid it was.

In a flash it occurred to me that -- save for the presence of my own daughter -- I might have seemed like an old pervert, checking her out a little too carefully. The reasons it's tough to assess kids in such situations are that

1. they grow, and if you haven't seen them for a couple of years, it takes some work to decode their features and
2. our eyes degenerate.

I would wager that I'm not the only person for whom this is a problem, and that this was far from the only instance in which the motives of an older person focusing on a younger one might be misinterpreted. It's more of a risky/weird situation with young women than with young men, because they are the subject of more sexual violence, but it happens with young guys too -- they also grow a lot, particularly in later puberty, they're just not bothered by it. If anything, young men are geared to be insecure and really want attention. Or maybe that was just me.

As an aside, I'd note that the whole question of social interactions while out walking in the neighborhood is an interesting one these days. Often people are psyched to talk, having been cooped up in their studies all day. But sometimes they're in this defensive "get out of my space" posture. Yesterday I was walking up Woodhaven at around 7:15 when a woman of most likely South Asian descent was out with her two kids (maybe ages 3 and 7) and a stroller. The 3-year old looked at me and said "what's your name?" So we got started with that, exchanging names. Then the 7-year old started in telling me about some sort of science project she was working on or something. I had to keep going. I was already late headed out for my exercise and didn't want to push dinner back too far. I guess maybe I seemed like an asshole. I hope not. I'll probably see them again soon. It would appear that we live within walking distance of one another.