Sucking ze blood

Today was a slow day. I was scheduled to go to my former employer and give blood in honor of a deceased coformerworker, so I went there. I also scheduled lunch with another coformerworker. Luckily, it was the day of a quarterly meeting so, by tradition, there was free pizza. The fatal free pizza.

There, in my ex-office, were blood-sucking people I had never met with forms to read and disclaimers to sign, which I took care of quickly. My blood, it seems, was good.

But into the line for blood extraction came a woman who needed to get back to her desk in an hour, so I gave up my place in line and went to have pizza with my former colleague, whom we shall call "Bob". Well "Bob" and I palavered and pizzad, and then it was time to return to the line, through which I sailed to my date with the needle.

So they stuck it in my arm, they did, those 501(c)(3) vampires, and that went by quickly. Naturally, I was apprehensive about what it would be like afterwards, when one hears rumors of light-headedness and fainting. But that's just for girls, I thought. No no. Turns out one shouldn't really eat before having blood drawn. Blood goes to stomach or somesuch. So when I was done, I sat up, felt light-headed and hot, and the nice vampirette said "why don't you lie back down?" And put cold compresses on my forehead. And brought me juice, then Coke. All and all it was twenty minutes of receiving fine service in a potentially embarassing situation.

Thank God noone will ever learn of it.