Bring it home!

I'm more than a little bit troubled by the difficulty I chronically have in obtaining certain regional delicacies back home in my native Chapel Hill. One would think we really weren't in North Carolina at all.
* The burger "with everything": i.e. chili, slaw, onions, and mustard. Don't nobody sell it.
* Coconut cake: perhaps I should be looking harder. I know where to get it in Manhattan, why not here? Neither Dips nor Crook's has it on the menu.
* Cheerwine. This is the most important thing. Regional sodas should be thriving in the pomo 2.0 economy. They are, after all, distinctively delicious, and none more so than the flagship of the Carolina Beverage company. The Cheerwine.com Distributor Locator clearly indicates that Long Beverage (919-481-2738) of Raleigh dispenses the elixir. Given Cheerwine's long historical association with intellectual and academic achievement, might not the absence of this beverage from the so-called Southern Part of Heaven explain the inability of UNC-CH to vault upward towards Berkeley and Michigan into the very upperest tier of public universities?