Blonde on bland

At the dentist this morning, I saw on the cover of People that Jason Priestly is marrying some blonde makeup artist. Below them on the cover was Sharon Stone, with child, and below her was a now blonde Lindsey Lohan. Between the three of them it was an astonishing picture of blonde boredom. Sharon Stone and her junior doppelganger Elizabeth Shue have always been the best example of what I like to call generic blondes, with sharp, balanced, symmetrical features, they blend together seemlessly. As does Priestly's new wife, who may as well remain nameless.

It reminded me of a time when, as a rapporteur for Columbia's faculty seminar on literary theory, a certain septagenarian Princeton professor started going off on how the fact that "anyone would agree that Cindy Crawford is beautiful" was a conclusive argument for a priori aesthetics and platonic forms. Hmm.. I thought. This guy is a moron.

Flash forward to Princeton, 2003 or so. At dinner, our hostess, ABD in English, tells a story of an older professor who has gotten in trouble (since hushed up by the university) for getting a male graduate student wasted, taking him home, trying to extort sexual favors, tying him up and putting him in a closet or some such. Turns out, as you may have guessed, it's the same guy. Which makes all the sense in the world.