All hale the chief

Congratulations to our new President, John Kerry. Yes, that's right, you heard it here first, long before the polls close, Kerry will win and win big enough to let us sleep.

How do I know this, you may be asking? Because there is order in the universe, which means that right will out and what must happen must happen, and W must go. He's an embarassment to us all. To Yale. To America. Perhaps even to Texas, though that would be hard.

So Kerry's election is a syllogism. He has won because he needed to, which is comforting. Now new questions arise: will Kerry let Edwards preside over the Senate, or will gavel-pounding look like just too much fun after all these years on the other side? How will Theresa take to the White House? Will it strike her as too modest? ("Honestly, John, living up over the shop, it feels so lumpen.") I suspect that these and other barnburners will call out for answers over coming days.