Homeland security is such a great new growth industry! Once enough of the black male population had been put behind bars, the natural growth curve of the prison industry sort of flattened out, and terrorism was really a godsend for the rural and would-be-rural thick of neck. No longer do we have to build prisons or, indeed, any sort of buildings to provide the underskilled and undermotivated but self-righteous beer-loving males with something to stand next to and "guard."
Now they can provide security to just about anything! Office buildings. Malls. Border crossings. Schoolbus crossings. Stadia. Bush-Cheney events. Gated subdivisions. Everything's all so constantly threatened, that clearly it makes sense to post some fat guys that can't be bothered to retrain to do something productive to stand there with stern viligance. In case of a nucular event, ya?
Other great ideas from lunchtime brainstorming:
- Stop terrorism by taxing it (but not too aggressively, so as not to stem the entrepreneurial spirit of the terrorists)
- Have Mark Burnett produce a reality TV show on which terrorists can blow themselves up before a big audience (shades of Network)
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