In the trenches of the credit wars

My cell phone rang this afternoon and I picked it up, surprised to see a 202 area code. Imagine my surprise when -- after hearing a few beard follicles brush roughly against the mouthpiece at the other end -- a distinguish male voice introduced its owner: "Hi Graham, this is Ben Bernanke, do you have a minute?"

"Why... sure," I said, not really knowing what was next.
He continued "I just wanted to reach out to you this afternoon to see if you had any credit needs that I or the Federal Reserve might be of service with. Is everything OK with your mortgage?"
"Um.. yeah"
"How about your Home Equity Line of Credit, your car financing, your student loans, your credit cards, is everything ship shape?"
"Pretty much, considering"
"Spot on! Glad to hear it. Let us know if we can in any way facilitate any uncrunching, you know, any tools you need to leverage to deleverage, alright?"
"You know I will, yes sirree"