New Technologies (fuddy duddy rant)

Why didn't anybody tell me I needed to reprogram my cell phone or it would gradually drift away from the network?
Why didn't the directions on new phone batteries say to charge 'em for 10 hours? It's ridiculous, a crime even.

Everything comes with a manual the size of a novel these days, which is absurd. When I buy something, I'm looking to buy a thing, not a book. Given how tight my time is, if I'm gonna read a book, I want it to be edifying in some way, either entertaining or skill building. They need to do a better job with summary level instructions for people who don't want to use all the features.

Generally speaking, I could give a hoot about physical objects per se. If they have a lot of memories / narratives associated with them, that's one thing. The old horse head bottle opener we used to open Pepsis at my paternal grandmother's house (d. ca. 1981) before decanting them into frozen glasses she pulled from the freezer, now there's an object for you. I've got that one. My mountain bike, inherited from my dad's then girlfriend now second wife, the bike which got me around when the State of North Carolina repo'd my driver's license, now there's something. A phone battery or shiny new mountain bike can kiss my ass.