Some kind of snoozefest

To judge from the way the critics treated it, the Metallicumentary Some Kind of Monster was gonna be a groundbreaking film: all these hard-assed metal guys getting soft and vulnerable and revealing their innermost feelings. Well, if that's as deep as they get, that's pretty pathetic.

James Hetfield, in particularly, shows himself to be an object lesson in ossification, demonstrating that if Heavy Metal exists to voice desires and "thoughts" of teen boys, keeping at it into your 30s means that you have to continue on thinking and feeling at a teenager's level.

OK. It must be said that some of the other the guys in band were trying to make therapy work, that it did take some courage to let the band be filmed over such a long period of time, and that the therapist really did have some nice, cabled cotton sweaters, particularly the shocking canary yellow one.

And the Fan Appreciation Day scene where the woman in black leather wins the right to be the bass player for a day was totally, totally awesome.