Consignment to hell, bitches

(Whoops! Looks like I published my notes to myself last night instead of hitting draft. Whatever. It's a blog.)

Certain of you may have noticed that I have arrogated the right to consign people to hell here on the Grouse. So far John Ashcroft and James Earl Ray have been shipped out. And you may have asked yourself, who is this guy to be sending people to burn in eternal damnation?

I can explain. First, let me cite as precedent the fact that I, as a charter member in the Young Amateur Byzantinist Society, was involved in the routine arbitration of orthodoxy in the modern world. Collectively, we admitted Led Zeppelin, Absolut vodka, Wheat Thins (not the low-salt variety), Bob Dylan, and chicks (with a couple of explicit exceptions) into the realm of the orthodox. The Minutemen, sadly never made it through because of a filibuster on the part of some classic rock fanatics.

And that was when I was in college. Since then, I've matured considerably and grown wiser too, so that now I've taken on the weight of the hell or no decision. It really doesn't even take up much of my day. I mean, who else is gonna do it? The Christian Right? I don't think so. Carrot Top? Too busy. No no. I've got this one under control.