Natalie has been up early two mornings in a row and I have been a little grumpy. Even on the second morning, when I heard her up downstairs before coming down myself. I have perhaps too much of my sanity invested in the sanctity of my morning routines. When I was listing some of my habits for Leslie when she was visiting a few weeks ago, I realized that it sounded as if I verged on OCD if not worse (worse than verging, that is, not worse than OCD, which is just a thing).
In most facets of life and on most occasions I am able to adjust to changes in plan and get back to some semblance of equanimity. But it's definitely not without effort.
Right about now I am still adjusting to the dramatic shift in fortune brought on by the reelection of Trump and all of his fucking Tweedledum homunculi like Musk. It's just the broad societal validation of masculine destructiveness that is blowing my mind in the moment. Plus the exhaustion of working so hard for an opposite result and, perhaps, the fact that it feels like we have reached the holidays right at the end of summer, based on the weather outside.
The next week promises to be colder. Maybe that will help.
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