Thursday, February 08, 2007

My time with Anna Nicole

This afternoon's tragic events took me back to an almost forgotten chapter of my past, a little brush with grea.... whatever. It was 1988, and fresh after graduation from college, I had some NEH money to do a seminar on Ruthenian hexameter odes at the Center for Slavic Enoblement at the University of Houston, which we affectionately called UHon. Now, as everybody knows, Ruthenian hexameter odes call from sustained diligence and discipline, and make a young scholar hungry. But NEH money doesn't go far, and that was particularly true in the Reagan era, so we took to frequenting a Burger King, which we affectionately called BuKing, right next to campus.

And that's where I met Anna Nicole, who aspired at the time to become an exotic dancer, and was saving up her money for vocal chord modifications. Surprisingly, however, she shared with us not only an enthusiasm for Ruthenian hexameter, but for Carpathian belles lettres in general, as they were enjoying something of a renaissance in Houston back then. Sadly, however, her domineering boss would always slink in and break up our colloquy whenever we got all worked up.

We shall miss her.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I heard she rubbed some male enhancement cream on her breasts. I bet her lawyer did her in to claim the baby and her estate.

Anonymous said...

I must admit to the grouse that several years ago as a reckless man in my mid thirties I traveled to Las Vegas as part of a company bonding trip. Well Anna Nicole was there and we hit it off. One thing led to another and before you know it we were back at Binion's at the all night buffett. Nikki had quite an appetite (if you know what I mean), but I found her to be a bit clingy and needy so I recommended that she find a good Jewish lawyer to latch onto. I was saddened by the news of her demise, but satisfied by my timeframe that I was not her baby's daddy.

Anonymous said...

Anna Nicole always could spot an erudite, sophisticated man. Clearly the grouse's enhanced visage suggested that he could have it his way at BK. Is there no end to your power to attract women?