We have had an issue of Christmas music staleness over the years. We've tried to refresh, with some limited success, so as not to overplay our household classics (many of which I've posted here over the years).
One thing we've had around for years is this CD of Mary's, which we've never listened to consistently. I put it on the other night when we were putting up the tree, and somewhere in there this song comes in. First I recognized Jackson Browne's voice and I thought, "Oh, Jackson Browne," which I might have realized was coming up had I looked at the cover. As the song went on it dawned on my that it was a rather lovely tune.
Last night I was listening to it after Mary got home and I just started crying, from whatever, joy, relief, holiday spirit. In general I am not good at processing joy. I can have fun, I can joke around, whatever. But mostly I am just grinding a lot, knocking things out, getting things done, pushing myself to do more, trying not to impose too much on those around me, especially my kids.
But it is hard for me to just be and be happy and sometimes to insist on the things I need to do to be happy.
I had my last meeting with a doctor yesterday. He is retiring at 71, taking counsel from a mentor who worked till he was 92 before dying at 95, who told my doctor not to make that mistake.
I am a good ways from that point, but I will be mindful of it as we roll forward.
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