Talking too much

We saw Graham Friday evening as he headed out on and then returned from his date with Caroline. So we got a little bit of an update. One early development in his classes is that in his history class, a seminar, Graham's teacher has asked him to talk a little bit less. Not residing inside Graham's skull, I can't say with 100% certainty what motivates him to overshare, but since I share a bit of genetic makeup with him and raised him from a wee pup, I would wager that it's a mix of genuine curiosity/enthusiasm and intellectual competitiveness and a belief that his intellect is his dominant way of distinguishing himself in the world. 

Last night at a Democratic fundraiser we were joined at the table by a guy who sells signs, including to political campaigns. Nice guy, been in the area a long time, knows lots of people, played football for UNC. I will confess that his moustache and body type reminded me of my dad so that was a strike against him. But also there was a salesmanlike verbosity and desire to interject a story at every turn. It was boring, and I found myself wondering: "Am I like that sometimes?" I do all too often hear myself telling the same stories over and over again with the same cadences and punchlines. In any case, I found myself wanting to get out of there.

In short, for both me and Graham (and plenty of others), there can be a tendency to talk too much, maybe driven by insecurity. Which underscores both the virtue of good listening and the fact that maybe it's a skill that needs to be learned, perhaps over and over again.