Looking for birth certificate

Natalie's gotta get registered for Kindergarten next week, and to sign her up we need her birth certificate, so Mary sent me on a mission to our files to track it down. I'm a fairly archival person, so I thought I'd find it somewhere, but not yet.

Here's what I did find:

• Model releases from a 1995-7 photo project
• Letters from as far back as 1986
• Trivial receipts from many tax years
• Mary's college and grad school transcripts
  
• Course materials for 1994 teaching gig
• Student evaluations
• High quality paper like we used to print resumes on
• Very cute pictures of me and Mary from Tanya and Jamey's wedding, 1992
  
  And, best of all
  

• Certificate of completion of course for birthing a child (Natalie)

Which is just pathetic.