Getting dressed upstairs I hear Natalie say "Give me my breakfast, please", and then, after ten seconds maybe, "Give me my breakfast, please." So she's showing us she knows when to use the word please, but her tone of voice tells us that she doesn't really know how to use it in earnest. She's saying it because she associates it with certain behaviors on our part, but she's saying it in a special, ironic way. She knows she doesn't really mean it, she just wants what it gets.
How do kids learn irony? From me and Mary carping at each other like siblings all the time? From us spelling out the words "we don't want them to understand," as the song would have it. She knows what's going on when we stumble in French with one another, and doesn't really tolerate it.
What does "please" mean if it's compelled? And when is it not compelled? I'm not sure one really gets the gut meaning of niceties until one is much older, at which point in time they're fully internalized. Which underscores the link Marxist theory has always posited between irony, manners and ideology. Irony and manners are different manifestations of doing something you don't really believe in, and ideology is a systemic instantiation of both. Only after the youth gets beat out of you does culture really feel natural, when it is in fact an overcoming of nature.
Upcoming: Bad Moments in me: concerning dog shit
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Young Irony
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I once watched the chewer of grouse become frustrated with his mom's advice on how to cook some steak to the point that he angrily exclaimed "SHIT, mom." When Momma Grouse cautioned this boy to watch his tone, grouser politely and sweetly responded "Shit, mom." To which Momma beamed and said "that's better." I also once heard grouser's dad point out that he had only ever heard grouser say "yes sir" to his mom. Don't be surprised when Natalie tells you the magic word is "NOW" in her own sweet little way.
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